Hey there. So I've debated for a very long time whether or not I should write about my very interesting and tumultuous summer. This post won't be light or cheery or related to beauty in any way, but it's a part of me. It's also a huge reason why I've neglected you guys for the past few months which, again, I apologize for. However, for the sake of not making this blog post a short novel, I'll get right into it.
While my struggle to find a job initially after graduating was a huge thing weighing on my mind, the real challenge I was experiencing was navigating through a really difficult breakup. I don't know how much to share without dragging his name through the mud, so I guess I'll keep it pretty vague. Point is, some choices were made on his end that I found...still find...incredibly hurtful. I go through bouts of extreme happiness and acceptance of the situation to extreme sadness and confusion. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground anymore.
The most frustrating part is that I feel like I wasn't able to get any type of closure or explanation. One day he just woke up and didn't want me anymore and I was left to pick up the pieces he left behind. Just when I think I have most of the puzzle completed, he comes back with more news that throws my puzzle against a wall and leaves me to start again. The most recent piece of news? He has a new girlfriend.Yay!
I can talk for hours about this, but that's not helping anyone, especially not me. I can't change his behavior, but I can improve mine. I've been working out five days a week, seeing a counselor, catching up with friends I haven't seen in years and recently got an incredible job offer. I don't want my negative emotions to overshadow all the good that's coming my way but I've always sworn to be transparent with my readers and that's still what I strive to do.
One day I'll be okay...and it's okay that day isn't today. All I can do is continue to be the best woman God has taught me to be, move forward and not look back.
Thanks for listening to my rant and I promise, I'll return to our regularly scheduled programming in the next post.
Love you guys!
Jordan Cathleen
While my struggle to find a job initially after graduating was a huge thing weighing on my mind, the real challenge I was experiencing was navigating through a really difficult breakup. I don't know how much to share without dragging his name through the mud, so I guess I'll keep it pretty vague. Point is, some choices were made on his end that I found...still find...incredibly hurtful. I go through bouts of extreme happiness and acceptance of the situation to extreme sadness and confusion. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground anymore.
The most frustrating part is that I feel like I wasn't able to get any type of closure or explanation. One day he just woke up and didn't want me anymore and I was left to pick up the pieces he left behind. Just when I think I have most of the puzzle completed, he comes back with more news that throws my puzzle against a wall and leaves me to start again. The most recent piece of news? He has a new girlfriend.
I can talk for hours about this, but that's not helping anyone, especially not me. I can't change his behavior, but I can improve mine. I've been working out five days a week, seeing a counselor, catching up with friends I haven't seen in years and recently got an incredible job offer. I don't want my negative emotions to overshadow all the good that's coming my way but I've always sworn to be transparent with my readers and that's still what I strive to do.
One day I'll be okay...and it's okay that day isn't today. All I can do is continue to be the best woman God has taught me to be, move forward and not look back.
Thanks for listening to my rant and I promise, I'll return to our regularly scheduled programming in the next post.
Love you guys!
Jordan Cathleen
